Paul Barman, M.C.

While they're on square 1, I'm on #3.

Money. To not become a dumber me.

Lyricist and Director, Househusband Records, 1996 - yearly since.
Projects blow minds, get laughs and nod necks. Invent words, create products and objects.
Not to mention, developed a Process to make work moriginal-- not less!:
What's everyone doin'?
Who? Why?
Where is there room in
What'd be truly new an'
what merely reunion?
What was promising that dishonesty ruined?
My style is substance. The teacher's a student.
You can
                leapfrog your own influence
and be a generation ahead. It seems inhuman!
Perceived opposites merge. Illuminate incongruence.
Talk about a transferable skill. My will to create, an incurable ill. If you're unfulfilled,
sis, talk to me.

Thought Balloon Mushroom Cloud, LP, 2009.
"Too original to be pigeon-holed. No 'almost' to a goalpost."
Liner notes, a book in progress. Morse cadence, Double-crostic:
"People's Easy Answers Cause Evil. Paris Eiffel As Colossal Easel."
Collaborators include ?uestlove, Michel Gondry, Prince Paul, MF DOOM, Casual-T, Memory Man.

Paullelujah!, LP, 2002.
"If you THINK you think outside the box, you're trapped in one."
Liner notes a newspaper. Palindromes:
"Eve. Mika, Rza, Evil JD, Nasir is Osiris, and J-Live, AZ, Rakim."
Design by Garland Lyn.
Collaborators include Prince Paul, MF DOOM, Mike V, Phofo.

It's Very Stimulating, EP, 2000.
"I don't walk, I get carried by a motorcade of voter-age women on Rollerblades
in cute sleeveless shirts exposing their shoulder blades."
Liner notes a zine.
Collaborators include Prince Paul, DJ A.Vee.

Postgraduate Work, 7'', 1998.
"The cloven Fauve in Paul Verhoeven's epic film entitled 'Pan-Man'--" Fibonaccis:
''--theme song was to 'Enter Sand-Man,' Weird Al polka version (1). It was an action film (1).
Pan-Man kicked backwards attackers (2) sent by the sexy matadortress from her Spanish fortress. Of course the film was torturous (3),
achieving wide release. Lloyd Kaufman's masterpiece. Pan-Man logo on marquees was 'Pac-Man' with the C's rotated 90°(5)..."
Self-produced, Ryan Sovereign.

+ many features such as Chris Rock's Never Scared and Rock Star Games GTA4.

Comcast. A giant kids project at long last! In Philly, wrote/recorded 5 silly songs fast, for V.O.D.,
to specs of execs, plus helped assemble the team. Tentative title, ''Nursery Rhymez.''
I'd love to be your collaborator. Never hurts to be mines.

Mother New York. Writer from storyboard to deck. Renamed a company, pitched PBS.
Skills to distil, galvanize and direct. Scored recordings to two vids. Still, at core, purely words. Hurry towards more rewards.

American Greetings. Writer/Producer for ''Get Along Gang'' cartoon song theme. Made a classic along with strong team.
Brought life to critters who lived only in the Character Bible. The joy of the hook matched the look of the title.
"A boy who's mad at you shares the same attributes. He may shout and yell 'cause he hates part of himself."
The creative director said, "It set the tone for the project." Yet debut never broadcast.
Probstacles best sailed through are often clawed past.

Partizan Films. Writer/Director Michel Gondry saw flaws, asked
me to work on the script of ''Be Kind Rewind,'' starring Jack Black, Mos Def
and Mia Farrow who glows like Joseph's clothes, effervescent.
So many toast death but both chose life even after bros, exposed, left.
Sorry if that tangent seems wrong. Also rewrote the film's theme song.

Recorded Books. Writer for ''Father Moose'' series, read by Nick Landrum and Bob Holman.
Challenged to out-rhyme Mother Goose. So I did. Still can't wait to illustrate and show my kid.

Audioketubah: Customazing songs and scrolls for weddings and anniversaries.
First, fill in the Skill-In-The-Blanks. Then send along with the bill-- millions of thanks!
I write, record and send scroll of the poem. More than a gift, the soul of a home.


Interviewer: The Onion, Wired, Village Voice, Mean Magazine, Boston Phoenix
Fact Checker: Men's Vogue
Puzzle Designer: Nick Jr., Games Magazine, Maxim, Flyer, While You Were Sleeping
Illustrator: NY Times Book Review, Spin Magazine
Interviewee: NY Times x 3, London Times, Time Out, Time Magazine

AMAC (Association for Metroarea Autistic Children), NYC, Winter 2011.
Taught teenagers with pervasive delays.
Learned the Blank Face plus persuasive praise.
Had them read the first book they'd read in three years.
Pulled poetry out them easy as sharing free beers.
The expectation level is so fxxxing low
yet everyone asks why education sucks so.
America, get your ducks in a row.
Treat teaching the same as the so-called free market
or children, low-balled, will grow up retarded.
Quadruple teachers' salaries now. Don't make them earn a raise.
Their jobs will be stolen as fast as this turn of phrase.
Don't commission a study just to burn through more days.
And don't get me started on STEM versus STEAM.
Should art be a part? Are we men or machine?
Meanwhile there's a vast chasm between
testing knowledge and testing test-taking skills.
Death to the Left. The Right's making bills.
May they both breathe their last, chest shaking chills.
Let's invest in memorization and self defense.
The wealth of a nation will never help our friends.
Regardless of intelligence or melanin count,
more than ever, love is relevant now.

Poets House, Language Innovation, Spring 2011.
Bank St. College of Education, Liberty LEADs program, Hip-Hop Academy and Adventure in the City, 2009 - 2010.
Columbia University, prophecy and prescience, grad. students in Creative Writing, New York, NY, 2008.
Princeton Review at IS 49, Algebra and Trig. for 8th-graders, Brooklyn, NY, 2004.
Fact Centre, ''Round World, Flat Map,'' Liverpool, England, 2003.
Brown University, Solomon Fellow, Creative Writing, Providence, RI, 2002.
CMJ Festival, Creative Genius Panel, New York, NY, 2000.

+my work has been taught in charter schools, colleges and universities.

New York Foundation for the Arts, Artist as Entrepreneur Boot Camp, July 2010.
Bank St. College of Education, trainings in group development and experiential learning, 2009 - 10.
Brown University, BA in Studio Art, 1997.

Invented four or five poetic forms.
Changed music. Integrated diametric norms.
Balanced socio-psycho-political, point of view,
conjoined stand-up, hip-hop, novels, coined a new
word, 'vajayjay,' which spread to world lexicon.

Distil complex and long text to song.
Can draw a perfect portrait and simultaneously,
on stage to a sold-out crowd, rhyme the brainiest. We
pack a phrase so full of meaning, readers react for days.
Able to make both cartoon themes and tackle AIDS.
Work with world's greatest artists, hold my own.

"****, best of year 2000." - Rolling Stone.
"5/5." - AP. ''2009's Best Poetry.''
Dick Gregory, 1963:
''A moderate will hang you from a Lowa Tree.''

The best lessons are scalable or else gone to rest. References available upon request.